Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
