So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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