Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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