Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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