12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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