There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
