ugly people sure do ruin things
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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