why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize