nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
