Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
