I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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