I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize