he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
