Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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