its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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