we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize