The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
