becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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