She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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