is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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