Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did I show you my penis last night?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
