Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
