Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
