Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
