I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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