Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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