Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
