Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
