she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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