Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
