btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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