I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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