Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
