Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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