There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
