do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
