We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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