the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
