pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize