I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
