i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
