Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
