They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
