smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
