There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You need Xanax blowdarts
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
