i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
