Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize