She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize