It's like God shit irony all over that family
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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