You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
