It's Friday. Sex?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
