i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
