I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
