Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
