I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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