I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
