My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
