WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
