I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
