is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
